


Timescales

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, Drama, Episode Related, First Time, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-10
Updated: 2006-03-10
Packaged: 2019-02-02 12:13:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12726411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Jack gives a grieving Daniel some space but it seems he might just give him too much. Or is there more going on that he realises?





	Timescales

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Thanks to my Beta, Gateroller!  


* * *

Jack watched as Daniel pulled on his jacket. This was his first mission since Shar'e had died and Jack wasn't sure Daniel was ready. Oh sure, he looked fine, he acted fine and he said he was fine. However, anytime Daniel said he was fine, Jack's warning bells rang and right now they were clanging.

Then again, Fraiser agreed that he was fit to return to duty, having physically recovered from the damage done by the hand device and she reported that he seemed to be coping well with the mental and emotional trauma. She was happy to sign him off citing that keeping busy was the best medicine for him just now.

Sam Carter had put a mission spec on the table and the General had approved it. They'd discovered a gate in what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse, all evidence pointing to an industrialised world that just might have something they could use. If not, it would provide Daniel with an opportunity to display his first contact talents once more.

Jack hoped that everyone was right and that Daniel was ready. He had quite a lot of hopes concerning the good doctor but he'd kept them to himself for quite some time and fully intended to carry on doing so until the time was right. If he was honest with himself he sometimes wondered if the time would ever be right.

He'd been in love with the man almost as long as he'd known him but Daniel had always been so in love with his wife that Jack had no illusions that his feelings could ever be returned. He kept his feelings close to his heart and did the only thing he could; he was the best friend he could be. Though to be honest that wasn't always easy with the stubborn sonuvabitch that Daniel was from time to time.

Yet friends they were, they had disagreements over just about everything but it never mattered in the long run; they pushed their differences aside and the friendship grew against all the odds. However, over the last few months Jack began to wonder if there could possibly be a chance that if Daniel were ever free there might be an opportunity for something more between them. Daniel had said and done a few things that gave Jack hope that he was a little more receptive than the older man had realised. Just small things, throw away lines, jokes almost but his expression didn't match his words. Jack noticed that not only did he constantly allow Jack's touch, something he rarely allowed anyone else but he had also begun to return the gestures. Then there was the smile, the one only ever glimpsed by him. Always fleeting but so wonderful it warmed Jack through to his soul. It also seemed to Jack that the incidents had been increasing.

Of course, Jack was never sure that his judgement was not biased by his own desires but one thing above all else encouraged him in his belief. Daniel had talked more and more about what he would do if they couldn't get his wife back. Such conversations only took place when his defences were down. After a particularly bad mission when he was hurting physically or emotionally, or when they'd drunk too much and the fear he held at bay during other times came to the fore and with that fear, the truth of possible outcomes and the acceptance that the odds were against him getting Sha're back.

However, most of the time, such fears were hidden away under Daniel's natural optimism and the hope that the universe would not continually kick him in the teeth. Jack did his best to support Daniel when he was at his lowest ebb, always telling him that they would keep trying, they would never give up.

Then Daniel's world came crashing down around him when Sha're had finally died. Daniel shut everyone out in some ways especially Jack. He had the fortitude to tell Teal'c that he forgave him for killing Sha're but he seemed unable to cope with the closeness of his friends and he kept Jack at arms length. The General gave him leave and Jack had offered to accompany him but he refused saying he needed no one, just needing to be alone. At first Jack had been hurt then he slowly understood. He was the one Daniel was closest to, the one besides Sha're who most held Daniel's emotions and just then he couldn't cope with that, so Daniel shut him out.

Realising he needed to give Daniel time and space to grieve, time to come to terms with himself before he could come to terms with the world around him, Jack stood back. He had waited this long he would wait as long as Daniel needed before he considered approaching him. He still wasn't sure if he was reading the situation correctly but he decided when the time was right he would find out.

Whenever that might be, it certainly wasn't now.

Daniel must have sensed he was being watched for he suddenly looked up and caught Jack's eye and gave him a quick grin.

"Ready for this?" Jack asked.

"No but I'm going anyway."

"It's not..."

"Jack, really I'm fine," he said heading for the door.

Jack sighed but said nothing else as he followed his friend out of the locker room.

* * *

The Stargate opened and as the wormhole stabilized SG1 stepped out into a large, darkened warehouse.

"Anybody get the feeling these folks don't do a lot of travelling?" Jack quipped.

Sam pulled off a large sheet to reveal the DHD. "It looks like it hasn't been used at all."

"Well they might not even know what the gate is," Daniel said. "I mean...ah, maybe it's some sort of artefact to them."

Sam glanced at him, nodding. "It's possible. I mean, you could stand here for months pressing symbols and still not find a combination that opens a wormhole."

Seeing two shadowy figures approaching Teal'c alerted Jack. "O'Neill!"

They quickly took cover behind the various covered packing cases as a man and a woman entered the warehouse.

"It was like an explosion, Orner. I heard it," the woman whispered as they cautiously came down the steps.

"There wasn't any explosion," replied Orner.

"I'm telling you I heard something. It was a big..."

"A big what?" sneered Orner.

Stepping out from hiding, Jack said, "Hello!"

Glancing at the rest of his team as they too emerged from cover, Jack continued, "You heard us."

"W-where did you come from? How did you get in here?" Orner asked, surprised.

"Door was open," Jack said casually. "Is there anyone around here who might be considered...in charge?"

Orner squared his shoulders and said, "Uh, me. Show me your papers."

"We don't have any papers," Daniel replied stepping forward. "We're travellers, we've come to meet you."

"Meet _me_?" Orner said.

"Not you," the woman interjected, exasperated.

"Actually, I meant your people. I'm Daniel, this is Major Carter and Jack O'Neill and Teal'c."

"Who'd give you a name like Teal'c?" asked Orner frowning.

"It was given by my father. It means strength," replied Teal'c.

"You remember your father?" the woman asked moving closer. Her attitude suggested this was rare.

"For as long as I draw breath," Teal'c replied proudly.

"Then...you could not have been here at the time of the Vorlix," said Orner.

"Vorlix," Daniel glanced at Jack, "...that doesn't ring a bell."

"It was the day that all we know of ourselves was taken away," the woman explained.

"We can only remember the day since the Vorlix. Before that...nothing," Orner continued.

Jack nodded to Carter who quickly began to scan the surroundings and after a few minutes she reported, "Well, I still don't detect anything out of the ordinary, sir and neither did the MALP. I think we're okay."

"Well the MALP is worthless. You I'll trust," Jack said.

"You needn't worry friend. Kira says that whatever it was that caused the Vorlix, came and went a year ago," interjected Orner.

"At least a year, more," the woman confirmed.

"In the first days after the Vorlix there was panic and confusion," Orner explained. "It's hard to be exactly precise."

"So you all just woke up one day and didn't know who you were. How does that work?" Jack asked.

"My first memory after the Vorlix was of running in the streets, as though for my life," explained Orner. He nodded to the woman. "She was running right there beside me. Whoever she is," he added.

"Seems like some kind of mass amnesia, sir," Sam guessed.

"Huh?" queried a puzzled Jack.

"It happened to a friend of mine during the Gulf War. Her chopper went down and she was knocked out. When she came to, her memories and identity before the crash were gone," Sam explained.

"So everybody on this planet took a hit to the head?" Jack asked. Never hurt to keep up the dumb act. It drove Daniel insane and that was always worth the price of admission. A frustrated Daniel was a sight to behold.

"Well, no, sir. I'm not sure what could cause something like amnesia on this scale," answered Sam.

"I have never before encountered such an occurrence," Teal'c threw in for good measure.

"All of our elders are missing as well," added Orner.

"You remember elders?" Jack asked.

"Well, no," frowned Orner, "but there are photographs of them in every house."

"The children are gone too," added the woman.

"If we ever had children," Orner said thoughtfully.

"Well, we weren't grown on trees. We came from somewhere," replied the woman with asperity.

"Then why have we photographs of the elders and none of the children, hmm? Answer me that. Daft," he snapped at the woman before turning to SG1 and said. "But if you do have any information we could use, you must seek Kira."

"That's the second time you've mentioned that name," Daniel said.

"You don't know who Kira is?" the woman asked.

"She is Minister of Health, Science and Restructuring in the Vias Transitional Government," said Orner proudly.

"Busy gal," interjected Jack wryly.

"We're all busy," the woman snapped.

"We would be lost without her," replied Orner turning to the woman. "And you know it."

Knowing they wouldn't get any more information from these two, Jack indicated the stairs, "Well, after you."

SG1 followed Orner and the woman, who were still bickering, out of the warehouse and into an industrial world.

* * *

Orner led them into what appeared to be a makeshift medical centre. The corridors were crowded with people, all seeming to be in their late twenties, early thirties. Orner was clearly looking for someone and when he saw a young woman with flowing curly blond hair, he stopped. His expression was one of awe. The woman was tending to another who appeared to have trouble breathing.

"Kira," Orner began, "there are some people here who want to see you..."

"They will have to wait for the moment, Orner," the woman said as she held a cloth underneath her patient's nose.

"Does that help?" she asked gently.

"No. I can't breathe," the patient gasped.

Kira mixed a substance in a wooden dish and turned to glance up at her visitors.

"Those with allergies to foods can't remember them," she explained quickly.

"Well, it looks like she's going into anaphylactic shock," Sam replied, reaching for her field kit but Kira held out the cloth to the woman a second time and shortly the woman could breathe easier.

Finally Kira rose to greet SG1. "Orner, you were about to introduce your friends."

"They are travellers, Kira, from far away," he explained.

"I can see that."

Colonel O'Neill introduced his team and Daniel stepped forward.

"So," he said, "I'm guessing you were...are, a doctor."

"It seems to be that before the Vorlix I helped others. That is all that I sense. Are you?" she asked with a smile.

"A doctor? No. Well...yes, I'm a doctor...of archaeology. I study the past," he said shyly returning her smile.

"Then you are a most welcome visitor here, Daniel," Kira said softly.

Jack, watching the exchange thought, _oh no here we go again, another stricken female. At least this time Daniel won't get caught up in it_.

"They were not here at the time of the Vorlix," Orner explained.

"You've done absolutely the right thing in bringing them here, Orner. Thank you." Kira spoke to him with great patience, almost the way one would to a child. A pesky child.

Orner smiled, waiting as if expecting more and when nothing was forthcoming he left after an awkward moment.

With an embarrassed smile she turned back to SG1. "He fervently believes that we are husband and wife and that we need not wait until we regain our memories in order to renew our relationship. Perhaps you can help us. Please, follow me."

* * *

They entered a large room, filled floor to ceiling with shelves full of books and documents.

Lifting her arms and indicating the shelves surrounding them, Kira said, "This room has all the knowledge and research we've been able to recover since the Vorlix. I've spent every waking hour in here, reading, searching, and dispensing whatever useful information I find. If you were able to help us, I know our people would be eternally grateful."

"You seem to have everything under control," Jack said.

"On the contrary, sir, we're falling apart. Industry and agriculture on Vias has come to a halt and when winter comes, it will be disastrous. Nothing less," She paused as if she had just had a revelation. "You're not from Vias."

"What gave us away?" Jack asked wryly.

"Whatever agent that caused the Vorlix is gone but its effects were pandemic. If you know who you are, then you cannot be of this world," she explained.

"Oh. Well you know that big round ring thing you got stashed in a warehouse down the road?" Jack wondered.

"So it is a transportation device," Kira said.

"So it is," confirmed Teal'c.

"We call it a Stargate," Sam said.

"Stargate, yes. Um, Dr Zervis mentioned that word in his research," she said, crossing to the table and flicking through a book. "Though I had given up hope of ever finding this Dr Zervis amongst our people, his papers have taught me much. Here," she began to read aloud from the book. 'Our visitor claims to have come to Vias from beyond the stars themselves. Though I still cannot comprehend the science behind this Stargate device she claims to have used.'" Kira stopped, glancing at the others before continuing, "I have studied this device since but have been unable to activate it."

"Uh, Kira, could you go back to the part about the visitor again?" Daniel asked. He found this woman fascinating. Besides her obvious beauty, she seemed very intelligent, practical and full of compassion.

"She is mentioned many times in the archive," Kira replied.

"What can you tell us about her?" Sam asked.

"That she was somewhat of an apothecary and that she did not survive the Vorlix."

"How do you know that?" Jack asked.

"The bodies of an elder woman and man were discovered some days later in a building destroyed by explosion. The only remains of our elders we have found. We deduced the male must have been Dr Zervis and the female matches what little description he gave in his notes of the visitor."

"What is the name of this elder woman?" Teal'c wondered.

"It is mentioned...here, yes...'She calls herself Linnea'," Kira announced looking up into the shocked faces of SG1.

* * *

Hammond approved a medical team going through the Stargate to help out the inhabitants of Vias. He had already been considering sending a team through anyway but when the colonel reported that it looked likely that Linnea may have had something to do with the disaster on the planet there had been no question of not sending help. Doctor Fraiser volunteered immediately and she led the team through, one of the few times she had actually travelled through the wormhole herself.

Teal'c went to meet Fraiser and her team and bring them to the medical facility Kira had set up.

Colonel O'Neill was there when they arrived and Teal'c and Doc Fraiser approached him.

"Colonel?" Fraiser nodded to him.

"Oh hi, what's _your_ name?" he replied with a straight face.

Ignoring his supposed levity, Teal'c said, "I have informed Dr. Fraiser that we may have located the planet to which Linnea escaped."

All sense of levity disappeared as if it had never been. "Possibly," Jack replied. "I'd like to know what we're dealing with here."

"Sounds like a world-class case of amnesia," Fraiser replied glancing at a group of people sitting by the wall.

Following her stare, Jack said, "Check these people out, will ya?"

"Yes, sir. I'll find out what I can." To her team she said, "Let's set up over here." They started moving the medical equipment across the corridor.

* * *

Kira was skimming the books on the shelves when Daniel spoke from where he was working at the table.

"I keep finding references to something called D'Argol."

"Yes," Kira replied as she moved nearer, "I found D'Argol was a chemical once used as a pesticide. It seems to have had a significant impact on the environment and has since been banned." She took a seat alongside Daniel at the table.

"Yes, we had a similar problem on my world with a chemical called DTT. It built up in the food chain until entire species were threatened," Daniel explained.

Jack and Teal'c entered the library and Sam came around one of the island shelves carrying some more books.

"Yes. I first believed this D'Argol was related to our loss of memory much the same way but there's little evidence of it," Kira continued skimming the pages of one of the books. "I've found residue only in the bodies of those who have died since the Vorlix."

Kira fell silent as she studied the picture of an elderly man in the book she was perusing.

"What?" Daniel wondered frowning at her lost expression.

Jack slowed as he walked by where Daniel and the young woman were talking quietly together, caught by the interested expression on Daniel's face as he looked at Kira as she studied the picture in her hand.

"Sometimes the images of people in the archives look familiar to me. I wonder if I knew this person, or that person. There are still so many questions, like why are there no images of children and where have our elders gone? Through your Stargate perhaps?" she asked.

Daniel frowned considering his answer, "Well, I suppose it's possible your people foresaw a disaster coming and sent the most helpless to safety."

"No, Daniel, whatever happened, happened quickly without warning," Kira contradicted.

"How do you know that...?" he asked, hesitating at her knowing smile which he couldn't help but return, "Because, if you saw disaster coming, you would have left yourselves a note."

Kira laughed.

"Sort of a 'to whom it may concern'..." Daniel went on sheepishly, a grin warming his features.

Watching from the far end of the table, Jack was unable to stop the rising jealousy. He knew it was ridiculous, Daniel had only just met the woman but the feeling wouldn't be denied. He knew he had no right to feel like that but that didn't stop the feelings. Daniel was so relaxed in her company; the easy smile that had been missing since Sha're died was in evidence again. This was the way he wanted Daniel to be with him, yet the younger man seemed more distant, more restrained around Jack now than he'd been since the very beginning of their relationship.

"Sir?" Sam suddenly said catching the worried expression on his face.

"Oh. I was just thinking about ...amnesia," he quickly replied dragging his attention to his second-in-command. "It doesn't quite track with Linnea's nickname."

"The Destroyer of Worlds," Teal'c quoted.

"Yeah, that one," Jack confirmed.

"Well, actually, in sort of a sick way, it does," Sam commented. "Kira said herself their society was on the verge of collapse, despite their efforts. This world is in trouble, sir."

"Perhaps Linnea was experimenting with other ways in which to destroy worlds," Teal'c said.

"Variety being the spice of life and all?" Jack added.

"The fact is, sir, we let Linnea out of Hadante prison. We gave her everything she needed to know about the network of Stargates to go anywhere she wanted."

"I know," said Jack, for once completely serious.

"We're responsible, sir," Sam said.

"I know," he replied softly.

Across the room, unaware of their conversation, Daniel and Kira continued to talk.

"Tell me of Linnea," she asked.

"Well, uh, basically, we met her on a visit to another planet, during which we were imprisoned, unjustly and Linnea helped us escape," he explained.

"Surely there is nothing wrong with that, if you were imprisoned unjustly."

Daniel shook his head slightly. "Well, she was imprisoned justly. It was only after we escaped that we learned this nice, older lady we thought Linnea was, was in fact a very, very bad, older lady, who had committed terrible crimes."

"What crimes?" asked Kira, frowning.

Daniel sighed and replied, "She created a plague that almost wiped out an entire people. They called her the Destroyer of Worlds. She found your world because of us, through one of our computers and that's why we're going to do everything in our power to help."

"I know you will," she said softly.

Jack watched from under lowered lids, not quite able to hear the quiet conversation at the other end of the table and all the more concerned for that. Concerned at what they were saying and concerned at his own rising jealousy.

Daniel smiled, eyes only for Kira at that moment, completely unaware he was being watched.

* * *

Sam was searching another island shelf at the opposite end of the library when she found a small notebook at the back of a shelf.

"I may have something," she called.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"I think it's Linnea's diary. I remember seeing her with it," Sam replied flicking through the pages of the small book.

Dr. Fraiser came into the library and on seeing Sam, she said, "Your diagnosis was bang on, major." She turned to the colonel. "Now, sir, I can either take the next several weeks setting up a lab here to study the problem, going back and forth for computer analysis. Or we could go back with these volunteers, do a series of MRI's and get the answers we need a lot faster."

"I would be glad to volunteer and so would others," Kira spoke up.

"As long as we maintain proper quarantine procedures, it shouldn't be a problem, sir," said Dr. Fraiser.

Glancing round at the others, Jack made his decision. "All right, I'll go on back and brief Hammond." Part of him wanted to stay and keep an eye on Daniel and part of him knew he needed to get away and stop creating scenarios to worry about. He was afraid that if he kept this up he might say something and alienate his dearest friend. He needed to distance himself, at least for a short time.

"I believe I can help," Kira said to Dr. Fraiser.

"I'm sure you can," she replied with a welcoming smile.

Kira returned to the books to the pile on the table and walked out, Daniel's arm comfortably around her.

Jack watched, his mouth dry as he wondered just when _that_ had happened.

* * *

Later, back in the dusty warehouse where the Vias Gate was stored Daniel was dialling the Earth Stargate, while Kira, Orner and the woman they first met there, looked on nervously.

"You guys go ahead and show them how easy it is," Daniel suggested to Sam and Teal'c.

"See you on the other side," Sam said with a half-wave as she and Teal'c calmly walked up the ramp and stepped through the Gate.

Orner panicked on seeing them disappear. "I-I can't," he said shakily.

"Orner, trust these people. As you trust me," Kira said offering him her hand. With a shy smile he took it and the woman at his side took his other hand. Daniel led the way up the ramp, then offered Kira his own hand, before they all stepped into the event horizon to safely arrive at the SGC.

"You alright?" Daniel asked.

"Incredible!" exclaimed Kira, glancing around.

"Am I in one piece?" Orner asked nervously.

"Yes, Orner, one skinny little piece," the woman replied snidely.

Daniel led them down the ramp to meet General Hammond.

"General Hammond, this is Kira."

"It's a pleasure, Kira," Hammond said taking her hand.

"On behalf of the Transitional Government of Vias, we thank you for your generosity and your support, General," she said.

Jack, who had been waiting in the background, moved forward and said a little sharply. "Daniel? You wanna show them to the Infirmary."

With a glance at Jack, Daniel led the visitors out of the Gateroom.

"Colonel, what if Dr Fraiser's unable to reverse whatever caused this?" asked the General.

"I don't know."

* * *

Janet Fraiser was showing her visitors from Vias the results of their MRI scans on a monitor in the infirmary, explaining that she thought she'd found the cause of the amnesia problem. It appeared it was linked to the chemical, D'Argol as Kira expected. Now they needed to find a way to repair the damage and hopefully the memories would once again be accessible.

Doc Fraiser frowned a little. "We should be able to confirm that very quickly and if it can be dissolved or removed without damaging the neurones..."

"Then we can be cured," the Vian woman said excitedly, glancing up at Orner.

"We need only to find the right medicine to dissolve the residue," Kira contemplated.

"That is much more difficult that it sounds," Fraiser replied.

"Well, then we should get started immediately," Kira countered with a smile.

Doc Fraiser with a lift of her eyebrows silently asked Daniel to take Kira on a tour of the facility so she could continue her tests.

With a nod to Doc Fraiser, Kira said, "Thank you," and followed Daniel out of the infirmary. "Your complex is incredible, Daniel, your technology...I've never dreamed of such marvels."

"You're welcome," Daniel said with a shy smile. He couldn't understand exactly why this woman affected him the way she did. True, she was pretty but he had seen prettier women that didn't make his heart flutter the way she did. It wasn't that she reminded him of Sha're, of that much he was certain. Thinking of Sha're brought the guilt flooding back.

Kira interrupted his thoughts. "Is it morning or night on the surface? May we see for ourselves?"

"Uh, no, not yet. Soon, though, I hope," he replied.

"I hope so too," she smiled.

Coming to a door Daniel showed Kira into the VIP room that she would occupy while visiting the mountain. Looking around and seeing it as if for the first time, Daniel realised how dreary the windowless room actually was.

"So this is it, uh, it's not much of a view but it's got all the comforts..." he trailed off with an apologetic shrug.

"You've been very kind. Thank you," Kira said and they stared at each other for a long moment. Daniel had the oddest feeling, almost as if he knew this woman, really knew her which, of course, was impossible. He suddenly realised he'd experienced a similar feeling before, an odd kind of déjà vu, when he first met Jack O'Neill before the first Abydos mission. Why did he suddenly think of that now, after all these years? Besides, he told himself, it wasn't really the same at all. He'd been a little afraid of Jack back then, he recalled smiling to himself at the memory. He'd later understood that was because he recognised a kindred spirit and it was so unusual it had unnerved him.

Strange now to think that friendship with Jack could ever have made him nervous. It had become as important as breathing to him and the idea that it could ever end sent a chill down his spine. Since the death of Sha're, his friendship with Jack and, to a different degree Sam and Teal'c, was the mainstay of his life and with a twinge of guilt it suddenly hit him that he'd been ignoring all of them in favour of Kira since he'd met the young woman.

Almost shaking his head to clear his troublesome thoughts, Daniel said. "So, there are clothes in the dresser..."

"Is my clothing unsuitable?" Kira wondered looking down at herself.

Following her glance his eyes tracked her body until he realised what he was doing and, embarrassed, Daniel stuttered, "No, no. No, it's fine. I was just..." Taking a breath, he continued, "Are you hungry? I can... I can have them send something down. You're hungry, I'm hungry, I'll have them send something down. You want something?" He knew he was babbling but he didn't seem to be able to stop himself.

Kira, recognising it was her close proximity that had him unnerved, moved closer still and the archaeologist backed away nervously.

"Yes," she said following him. "Since the Vorlix, close contact has become almost taboo. We were afraid that if we were ever able to regain our memories..."

"You would find yourself waking up beside the wrong person," Daniel breathed.

"You...are not from Vias," she said softly still tracking him as he continued to retreat.

"No, I'm not from...there...from Vias...no..." Heart thudding in his chest he knew he needed to stop her and, "Kira!" he said sharply.

Stopping suddenly and ducking her head, she said, "I understand," and turned away.

"No you don't," he said guilty at the hurt in her posture. "Um, ok, I mean I'm finding myself very, very...very...But, uh, the fact is I've only just recently lost my wife."

"Oh," Kira said turning back to him.

"And I...Well, that's not actually, totally, true, I mean I actually really lost her a long time ago. The fact is I don't think right now I would trust myself completely to, uh..."

Kira leaned in and kissed him passionately, cutting off his words. She slowly broke the kiss.

"I'm sorry, I interrupted you," she smiled gently staring directly into his eyes.

Hardly able to breathe, Daniel murmured, "No you didn't, no, I wasn't going to say anything..." What the hell am I doing?

"I had to do that. I had to do that in case...when my memory returns, I find myself attached to someone else and I am unable to ever do it again," she said softly.

He stared at her for a moment and then, forgetting anything but the tingling of his lips, he said, "Right. I understand, that's...that's probably why I should do this," pulling her to him and Daniel kissed her right back.

* * *

"You were looking for me?" Jack asked entering Carter's lab. Sam was studying one of the notebooks that she had found in the library on Vias.

"Yes, sir. I've been studying Linnea's journals. Apparently, she found a link between D'Argol - it's a chemical pesticide the Vians used - and longevity," she explained.

"What's a bug spray have to do with longevity?"

"Well, it seems it was having the effect of slowing the ageing process. Not in an extreme way but certainly significant enough."

"Lucky bugs," Jack quipped.

"Yes and no. They stopped using it over twenty years ago. It was adversely affecting their fertility rate," Sam explained.

"So no kids," Jack mused.

"Right. The point is Linnea was trying to enhance the life-extending properties of D'Argol to create a sort of fountain of youth."

"She was trying to make herself young again?" He was startled.

Glancing at the diary on her desk, Sam continued. "According to her last entry, Linnea was about to conduct some controlled lab experiments using an intensely concentrated form of D'Argol, on two Vian elders. A male and a female."

"And?"

"And...that's where her journal ends."

"Ah. The Vorlix, perhaps?"

"Exactly. Now what if there really was a laboratory accident? Some massive chain reaction of enhanced D'Argol gas that caught even Linnea by surprise? The entire population becomes young again overnight. You realise, of course, the implications?"

Jack nodded before he frowned. "No."

"Uh, they're elders aren't missing, sir. They are the elders. The fountain of youth worked. The amnesia was simply a side effect Linnea didn't see coming."

Jack's eyes widened in shock. "Ah, wait a minute. Linnea is dead, right?"

"Well, if those two bodies that Kira found really were the Vian elders that Linnea was experimenting on..."

"Don't say it Carter!" As if I don't have enough to worry about! God!

"Sir, we wouldn't recognise her even if she walked in the front door."

"Don't, don't..." In frustration Jack put his hands over his ears and started singing to drown out Carter's voice.

"Sir, she has the knowledge of chemistry, the medical skills..." Sam shouted, just as frustrated at her C.O. but Jack just kept on singing and he squeezed his eyes shut.

With a sigh, Sam pulled his hands away from his ears. "I think we at least have to face the possibility that Kira is Linnea."

* * *

Daniel walked down the corridor to his own quarters, his mind in turmoil. The kisses he'd shared with Kira had been wonderful; he'd forgotten just how good kissing someone could be. He admitted to himself it still hadn't been the same as kissing Sha're and that thought invading his psyche at a crucial moment had ended the interlude. Kira wanted to take the next step but his guilt wouldn't allow him to go any further.

Daniel had cared for Sha're very much, he'd loved her more as time passed but he had long since admitted to himself that he hadn't really been in love with her. When he had been offered the beautiful Abydonian, he had tried to refuse the gift. He couldn't imagine taking a woman, making love to a woman in such circumstances but then he'd realised that it would shame her and her family if he returned her, so he'd reluctantly accepted her but tried at first to keep her at arms length. Later when she risked her life for him and he came to understand that she really was attracted to him, he gave her what she wanted which was not difficult at all. Hell, he'd wanted her and only his innate decency had stopped him the first time.

He was bisexual, had been as long as he could remember and though he did tend to lean a little more towards men than women, he'd had relationships with both. It was only later that he discovered that she was more than the gift of a woman; she was the gift of a wife. When the time came to leave Abydos he came to the conclusion that he had more reason to stay than he did to go home. Besides the fact he now had a beautiful young wife, he also had been gifted with an anthropologist's dream. To spent a lifetime living and studying an ancient society.

The only reason he would have considered going home never came up. He said nothing and he had no reason to believe the real focus of his desire, Jack O'Neill, would ever be anything other than a very macho friend. So instead he'd said goodbye never expecting to see the man again, except in his private fantasies.

He fully intended to be a good and loyal husband to his new wife, to forget the Air Force colonel and build a new life for himself on the far-away world. He kept his promise except for the few times he was unable to shake the memory of a forbidden desire and allowed himself the luxury of the fantasy, usually when he was studying in the distant cartouche room.

Sha're loved him but she didn't understand his obsession with the strange writings in the dark underground room. It was one of the very few things they argued over, she felt his studies were taking him away from her and he admitted to himself that in one way they were. He knew by now that they were addresses and he dreamed of travelling to all the far away places and meeting new and exciting peoples. He knew there was risk of course but he was an anthropologist and it sometimes went with the territory. Also, deep in his heart, not even acknowledged, was the vague idea that perhaps one day he would meet the colonel again. In the dark of the night, the only time he was truly honest with himself, he admitted that, in his thoughts at least, he was unfaithful to his wife.

The day the tissue box had arrived through the Stargate had been both an excitement and a threat to the young man's carefully preserved balancing act. The idea of seeing Jack again lifted his spirits, while the risk of the encounter to his sometimes-fragile marriage unnerved him.

So the fact that he was with Jack when his wife was taken multiplied the grief and the guilt. He loved and cared for Sha're, not as much as she would want, not as much as he felt he ought but he gave her all he had to spare. And it hadn't been enough had it?

The next three years spent in the company of the man he still cared for, trying to find and bring home his wife, had been both wonderful and purgatory. The friendship grew and became his anchor; the desire grew and became his burden, increasing his guilt tenfold.

He had to get his wife home; he owed her so much. As time passed he came to the painful conclusion that he also owed her the truth, especially as he also realised that there was something else between him and Jack other than friendship. He was afraid to name it, still unsure if he was misreading the signals but he had promised himself that when he finally got Sha're back he would tell her of his feelings for Jack. He wasn't sure what would happen then, except that he was also going to speak to Jack and find out for certain how the other man felt. His plans for the future were confused, depending on the choices of others but he knew he could no longer lie to them or himself. So when the time came...

Only it never did...not that way. Now all he had left was the guilt. Until he came to terms with that he could never approach Jack.

Now he had more guilt to add to the pile. He'd played with Kira's feelings and he finally acknowledged he'd also played with Jack's. He'd seen and ignored the looks Jack had thrown his way. He'd seen the anger, the disbelief and the hurt. He recognised jealousy when he saw it. What the hell does Jack see in me anyway? It seems I always disappoint him.

* * *

Daniel was hurrying to the briefing room in answer to the emergency call from the general and wondering what had happened. There had been no alarm to signal off world activation or unauthorised traveller so the only other incident currently involving SG1 was the Vians but what could constitute an emergency involving them? The answer was a kick in the teeth.

"Then she's also a victim of the amnesia?" Hammond asked.

"It fits," Jack confirmed.

"It fits..." Daniel said distracted, hardly able to accept what he was hearing. "Well what about the body of the old woman they found after the Vorlix, that fits Linnea's description?"

"Linnea's first victim." Teal'c assumed.

"Come on Daniel, you saw the test results. What more do you need?" Jack asked.

"Kira's DNA is a perfect match for the samples I took from Linnea last year. It's irrefutable," Doc Fraiser told him.

"Irrefutable? Okay, so let's just, uh, lock her up, throw away the key then. Or better yet, we could send her back to the prison where we found her," Daniel carped, eyes on the floor as he paced up and down behind Sam and Teal'c seated at the long table.

"Linnea, Daniel. She used to be Linnea. We're lucky she didn't knock us off the first time around," responded Jack.

"Let me ask you a question: Who would you trust with your life more than anyone else in the world?" Daniel asked eyes pinned on Jack. "Don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't pick me. Could it be Teal'c?"

"Sure," Jack said what Daniel seemed to expect. It wasn't what he really wanted to say, that he did trust Teal'c but that he trusted Daniel more. He wasn't sure Daniel would understand. Nor, perhaps, would the others either.

With a nod, Daniel turned to Teal'c. "Uh, Teal'c, just refresh my memory. What was your previous occupation?"

"I was the First Prime of Apophis."

"Right. Did a few nasty things back then?" Daniel asked.

"We see the subtle point you're trying to make," Jack groused.

"No you don't! She is not the same person. She is not who she used to be. Let's not condemn her for who she may have been in the past," Daniel said again looking directly at Jack.

"I think it would be prudent to keep her confined to her quarters until we can resolve the Vians' medical crisis. Colonel O'Neill, perhaps you could inform her..." General Hammond asked.

"I'll inform her," interrupted Daniel and walked out of the room, back very straight.

Jack watched him go, his gut twisting at the implication of Daniel's impassioned argument. Jack tried to look at it subjectively. Daniel was always fighting for the underdog, always looking for the best in anybody. Why should this be any different? Because jealousy was rearing its ugly head and he knew it. He couldn't get that picture out of his mind, Daniel walking out of the library with his arm around Kira...Linnea.

Oh my god! His jealousy had blinded him to what Daniel was probably going through. He'd only just lost his wife and for the first time he showed interest in another person - woman, damn it! - and she turned out to be the Destroyer of Worlds!

* * *

Daniel approached Kira's quarters not sure exactly how to tell her what they'd discovered. He was sure that Jack had interpreted his argument in her defence as some kind of personal interest. Okay, true he was feeling guilty for encouraging her only to brush her off with an excuse but he did really believe that this woman was no longer Linnea, the Destroyer of Worlds. That woman had died with the Vorlix.

He knocked and she bade him enter which he did, to find her brushing her long blonde hair. She was very pleased to see him and he adroitly avoided her attempt to hug him.

It was obvious something had changed, especially when she saw the guards standing to attention through the still open door behind Daniel. He explained it away by telling her that General Hammond was insisting on some quarantine procedures.

"But the effects of the Vorlix are not contagious," she explained confused.

"I know."

"Then why?"

"I can't tell you everything," he said, "but I can tell you that more happened during the Vorlix than just losing your memories."

"Is that why there are now guards outside my door?"

"No, that's just standard procedure," Daniel prevaricated.

"If you say so," she said. Unfortunately, Daniel was not a good liar.

"I do. Say so. So, I'll come visit you in a little while," he replied and turned to leave.

Kira's voice stopped him. "Is Doctor Fraiser still working towards a cure for our amnesia?"

"Yes. Yes she is."

"So I can rest assured?" she asked.

"Yes." Daniel left, closing the door behind him.

Once he had turned the corner and out of the sight of the guards he leaned against the wall. He hated lying, knowing he was no good at it and that she hadn't believed him. She didn't know, of course, what was wrong but she knew that something certainly was.

* * *

As Jack and the general entered Dr Fraiser's lab they found her massaging her forehead and looking distinctly frustrated; Sam was seated, leaning back against the desk.

"Oh my. There is a distinct lack of optimism in this room," Jack observed.

Fraiser explained they'd been working around the clock trying to find a solution and it was very difficult. When the general asked what they'd learned Sam explained that it could take years to find a solution.

"Suffice it to say, we don't have that much time," Hammond said.

"Unless we get help," Fraiser replied.

"From?" asked Jack as he bent over, peering through a microscope.

"Kira, sir," Sam said to which Jack jerked upright in surprise.

Initially Hammond refused to even consider the possibility until Fraiser pointed out that she was the one with the most knowledge in this field and without her knowledge of biochemistry, especially of the residual D'Argol, it might be impossible to reverse the effects of the amnesia in time to prevent a catastrophe on Vias.

"Doctor, you're asking me to allow a known homicidal maniac to work with potentially lethal substances."

"Yes sir," the doctor replied, "but with all due respect, Daniel may be right. Kira may be an entirely different person than Linnea, without the memories that made her the person she was."

"Excuse me, amnesia check. Destroyer of Worlds?" Jack interjected. Why did they insist on speaking as if she was someone else, under that smiling exterior she was still Linnea. He understood Daniel's argument, really he did but understanding didn't mean that you forgot the risks. Daniel could be correct, he usually was but a pretty face could fool Daniel. He always wanted to believe the best of anyone. Whereas Jack would always go with the premise of expect the worse and hope to be surprised.

"Sir, Kira wants nothing more than to help her people," Sam pointed out. "Now, as long as she doesn't take the antidote that she comes up with..."

"There won't be an antidote without her help. So... "Fraiser waited.

Hammond exchanged glances with Jack who, after a moment of deliberation, hesitantly said, "I think a precaution or two might be in order, sir."

* * *

There were extra guards patrolling the entrance to the mountain, scattered throughout the SGC as Daniel noted on his way to Kira's quarters. He found it impossible to think of that young woman as Linnea, even though logically he accepted that was who she was, who she had been.

He knocked on her door and when she opened it she appeared alarmed to find Teal'c and two guards accompanying Daniel. He explained there was no reason to worry and that she'd done nothing wrong, it was just that the general insisted on an escort while they worked in the medical lab with Fraiser and Carter.

With a small frown she closed the door as she followed Daniel into the corridor to the medical laboratory. She wanted to ask questions but for the first time even Daniel seemed distant so she merely did as she was asked and waited to see what would happen.

Daniel stayed in the background as she began work with Sam and Janet, mixing chemicals to try and discover a cure.

After a while Sam wandered over to talk to Daniel where he was watching the experiments.

"She's brilliant," Sam said quietly.

"Yes, she is," agreed Daniel.

"She's so far ahead of us, Daniel, it's frightening," Sam commented.

Watching Kira working with the chemicals, discussing reactions and the possibility of explosions, Daniel could finally see the ghost of Linnea and he acknowledged to himself that, as usual, Jack was only concerned for him, for his safety. Jack never failed to put the SGC before any outsider, his team before the SGC and though he would never admit it, possibly didn't even realise it, he put Daniel before his team. Daniel felt the guilt for that too.

* * *

When the time came to test the antidote on Orner who had volunteered, Kira wanted to test it on herself instead citing the possible danger as the reason.

"That's not an option," Doc Fraiser told her.

"May I ask why?"

"Because if it's unsuccessful we'll need your help to try again." Fraiser told the half-lie smoothly.

"If it's unsuccessful, Orner may die. I would never forgive myself," Kira said.

"Then I forgive you now. I know how important this is to our people," Orner said firmly, smiling at Kira.

Neither Kira nor the Vian woman who accompanied Orner seemed happy.

Doc Fraiser explained to Orner what she was going to do and at his nod she injected the antidote under his jaw and he flinched. Kira solicitously asked him how he felt, telling him that any effect should be immediate.

"I feel something," a surprised Orner said.

As Doc Fraiser asked him if he was starting to recall anything, Orner went into convulsions, scaring the Vian woman who had to be pulled out of the way.

"Help me get him down!" Fraiser called to her nurses as Orner suddenly flat lined.

"He's not breathing. There's no pulse. It's a code blue!" Fraiser declared.

Putting an oxygen mask over his face she began compressions. As a nurse arrived with the paddles, his heart rate picked up and Fraiser watched carefully as he stabilised. As she checked his heart rate, he slowly opened his eyes.

"Help me get him up," the doctor ordered.

Kira moved to his side as he called her name and she asked him if he remembered anything but unfortunately he didn't.

"Next time it will work," she comforted him. Turning to Dr. Fraiser she said, "I believe I know where I miscalculated. May we begin again?"

"Why don't we wait and see how Orner feels in a little while?" Fraiser asked gently.

"The effect would have been immediate. It did not work, we must try again," Kira said impatiently.

"Dr. Fraiser's right, we should probably take a break," said Daniel approaching from where he had watched by the door. Kira complied but her eyes were still on the Vian man.

Teal'c joined Daniel as he escorted her back to her quarters.

"Daniel, may we be allowed to speak alone?" she asked when they arrived at her door.

"Yes," he replied firmly.

Turning to Teal'c he informed his friend that he intended to stay for a minute but the big Jaffa insisted on staying as well, explaining that he was concerned for Daniel's welfare. The archaeologist simply said Teal'c's name quietly and firmly held the big man's eyes.

With a long look at Kira, Teal'c stepped aside, allowing Daniel to pass.

As the door closed she turned to face Daniel. "They believe I am Linnea."

"Yes."

"Do you?" she asked him.

"The Vorlix made the population of Vias younger, years younger. You couldn't find the elders, because you were the elders," he answered. The sooner she accepted the truth the easier for everyone.

"How can you believe that?" she asked distressed.

Daniel explained about the comparative DNA test and that it proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she and Linnea were one and the same person.

"Well the test is wrong. I'm _not_ Linnea," she declared, upset at the suggestion.

"No you're not. You're Kira now," he said softly, touching her hair. "Kira's wonderful. And as long as you remain that person, that will never change." He felt sympathy for her but he no longer felt that pull, that attraction that he had on Vias, though it wasn't the knowledge of who she had been that had broken the spell. It was his acknowledgement of the reasons for his attraction, that it was a last ditch attempt at freedom from his inappropriate feelings for his friend when he should have been loyal to his wife. He had no cause to feel guilty for an attraction to a stranger he'd never known while his wife lived. Inwardly he laughed at his own self-deceit with that splitting of hairs. Chasing after Kira hadn't stopped his feelings for Jack only brought them out even more into the light of day. _Accept the truth Daniel, accept the guilt and stopping blaming yourself and Jack for falling in love with him!_

"You're telling me, that I will never be able to take the antidote. I would _never_ harm anyone, Daniel. Do you believe me?"

"I do." He didn't tell her he couldn't say the same for her alter ego.

She moved closer to him and reached up to kiss him but he'd never kiss her again. All he could offer now was comfort so he hugged her instead.

* * *

Seeing Daniel up ahead, Jack ran to catch up to him as he headed down the corridor.

"Hey. I heard the test didn't go too well," Jack said.

"She'll figure it out," Daniel answered absently. Now was not the time for this. He wanted to speak to Jack but not now and not here on base.

"Listen, I'm not saying the first woman you've fallen for since Sha're isn't a peach..."

Daniel stopped walking, his back rigid. Did Jack really believe that he had serious leanings towards Kira?

Halting just behind Daniel, Jack wished he could see Daniel's expression but suddenly feared what it might show. Expecting too that he may have crossed an unseen line, Jack continued regardless, his concern for his friend outweighing any future arguments. "But if she remembers who she is, you'll be the first to go."

Daniel said nothing, not trusting himself to answer, then after a long moment he continued walking down the corridor. Sometimes he thought he and Jack knew each other so well and at other times he felt they both wore masks behind which they concealed so much.

Watching Daniel walk away, his discomfort clearly written in the stiffness of his posture, Jack wondered if they would ever be on the same page. He had such hopes for a possible future that one moment seemed in reach and the next moment seemed unattainable.

Was Daniel really looking for someone to replace Sha're, a woman to love as he had loved Sha're, or a salve for his guilt. He'd spoken to Jack at his lowest ebb under the weight of his guilt over Sha're, a guilt Jack felt was not his to bear. Daniel could have done no more than he had to try and retrieve Sha're. Jack smiled inwardly at that, the same could be said for him but he still carried his own guilt over that failure. No, the only person who could unburden that guilt was Daniel, of that Jack had personal experience.

He would have thought perhaps Daniel was just having a fling with a beautiful young woman except that just wasn't his style. Whatever it was, _god I hope it is in the past tense!_ It had to be over now and for an unselfish reason Jack hoped it had been something like a fling. He didn't want to contemplate Daniel's feelings if he really had fallen hard for someone he could never have.

* * *

In the Medical lab Doc Frasier and Sam Carter were once again working with Kira, while Teal'c and two guards observed. They were checking the results of an experiment they had just run on the latest batch. Kira took a dropper and added a chemical to a Petrie dish, observing the results through a microscope.

"It's working," she said, stepping away as Sam looked through the microscope.

"Yeah, I think you're right," the USAF major confirmed.

When they decided on the correct potency of the antidote Dr. Fraiser told Kira they could continue the procedure. Kira wanted to stay and help but she was refused. She knew why they were treating her like this but as she had no memory of being this woman, Linnea, no knowledge of what she had actually done, it hurt to be treated in such a way.

Kira glanced closely at the two women before saying, "I see. May I return later to observe the test?"

Fraiser readily agreed to this and with a hesitant smile turned back to her work knowing the guards would escort Kira back to her quarters. While the others weren't watching, Kira palmed the slide containing the antidote, before leaving with Teal'c and the guards.

On reaching her quarters Teal'c opened the door to Kira's room to allow her inside. With his usual bow he left closing the door behind him. With a slight frown, Kira looked down at the slide in her hand, at the antidote she had taken from the lab.

* * *

Kira was once again escorted to the Medical Lab for the testing of another sample antidote using Orner as the guinea pig. Dr. Fraiser injected the sample into his neck and watched the patient carefully.

"Are you feeling any pain?" she asked.

Orner frowned, trying to explain. "Something...not pain..." He started to convulse once more but wasn't quite so badly affected this time and didn't lose consciousness.

"Orner, are you alright?" Kira asked once he'd recovered sufficiently.

"My real name is Nodal," he said excitedly, grinning at everyone around his bed. "I remember everything. Thank you."

"And are we married after all?" asked Kira, smiling.

"No, I'm afraid I am married to Leyal," he replied, smiling at the other Vian woman who happily took his hand.

Turning to Kira, Nodal said, "Before the Vorlix, you and I had not met yet."

"I am pleased for you," Kira said, glancing from one to the other.

"You must take the antidote now," Nodal said with a smile for the woman he still admired for her accomplishments.

"I cannot," she replied softly, looking to the SGC personnel, "they will explain."

She hurried from the room and this time Daniel placed his hand on Teal'c's chest to prevent him from following. Teal'c acquiesced to the look in his friend's eye. Daniel never said a word just going after her himself.

Catching up to her in the corridor he accompanied her back to her room, the two guards following.

"What will be done with me?" asked Kira, a little wary.

"Well, if you don't take the antidote, I see no reason why you can't go back to Vias. I intend to ask them," he said.

"They'll fear me. I would," she stated as they came to a stop outside her quarters.

"For all that you've done for them, they'll be grateful," Daniel said.

One of the guards opened her door, waiting and she turned to Daniel and gazing directly into his eyes, she said, "All debts have now been paid." She stroked his face gently.

Inside he froze at the contact but he didn't allow it to show and forcing a smile he told her he would return after speaking to her people.

"I shall miss you, Daniel," she said quietly.

He hesitated for a moment before continuing away wondering why it felt like she was saying goodbye. _All debts have now been paid. Oh my god! Linnea._ He turned and ran back to her room, throwing open the door.

"You've taken the antidote," he declared.

"Leave Daniel," she said sharply.

He moved into the room, quietly closing the door behind him watching her carefully as she tightly held the two vials, one in each hand clasped close to her chest.

"You said all debts have now been paid. That was the message Linnea left behind," he said quietly his eyes never leaving hers.

"Was it?" she asked.

"Did you take the antidote?" he asked sharply.

"I had to know, Daniel! I didn't believe you!" she declared angrily.

"Kira," he said sadly.

"I'm not Kira, am I? I am the murderer that you said I was!" she yelled.

"No you're not," he answered firmly.

She showed him her open hands, one vial in each. "I need only smash these vials together to create a poisonous gas that will fill this room. Now, I only want to harm myself, I don't want you to be here. Please."

He couldn't allow that, he couldn't. This gentle, caring person was _not_ Linnea; she wouldn't have wanted to commit suicide because of who she was. He had to convince Kira of the truth of that. He simply told her she would have to kill him too as he wasn't leaving. He could not believe she would risk his life too.

She held out her hands as if to ward him off.

* * *

In the Medical Lab, Dr. Fraiser was preparing to inject Leyal next but when she went to collect the antidote she noticed one dose had vanished. She double-checked the table area but there was no doubt.

"Colonel," she called, "a vial and ampoule are missing," turning to look at O'Neill and Teal'c. With hardly a glance at each other they quickly ran out of the room, heading for Kira's quarters.

The only thought running through Jack's mind was that Daniel had gone with her and he would do anything to protect the innocent. Daniel would put himself at risk without a second thought. _I won't lose you now, I can't. If I have to kill the bitch I'll do it and you can hate me afterwards. You have to be alive to hate._

* * *

"I deserve to die," Kira sobbed, hands shaking but still firmly gripping the vials.

Daniel slowly approached her. "I don't believe that," he said carefully.

"You don't understand. There's a part of me that cares for you, Daniel," she began; tears of anguish streaming down her face. "More than I've cared for anyone I've ever known. But there is this other part of me that would gladly watch you die!" she snarled, her anguish changing to tears of rage.

The door burst open and Jack was standing there, Teal'c at his back. Jack, eyes hard with resolve, already had his sidearm out and levelled at Kira.

"Step aside, Daniel!" he ordered.

Daniel twisted to look at Jack in the doorway, one hand still held out towards Kira, the other now raised in Jack's direction. "Don't! There's another way, Jack." There was an unspoken plea in his words, a plea he knew Jack would recognise in a way that perhaps no one else would. They'd long had a kind of unspoken communication but Daniel knew he was asking a lot of his friend.

"Move!" Jack demanded, his weapon still trained on Kira but he made no further move. He understood that Daniel had stayed where he was in the belief that he kept Jack from firing on the woman but the truth was he could still make the shot. He decided to give Daniel a chance but if there was the slightest risk...

Keeping his attention fully on Kira, Daniel said, "Give me the vials, Kira. You don't need to do this."

"There are two people inside of me and one of them is a monster. In time, she _will_ win" the young woman said desperately.

"You won't hurt me, because there's another way, Kira," he said quietly.

She yelled back angrily, "I'm not her!"

It was very difficult then for Jack to keep his cool. Daniel was perfectly in control but obviously Kira, _damn it Linnea_ , was not. His finger itched to pull the trigger but he knew that would destroy Daniel and he could never be the one to do that, unless the alternative was Daniel's life. He kept his aim.

"No, you're not. But you can be her again," Daniel replied. "You can forget. All you have to do is forget."

Finally dropping her threat, Kira leant against the wall, staring at Daniel.

Jack still kept his aim.

* * *

She awoke to find herself in a strange place. She blinked and dazedly looked around, surprised to find she had tears running down her face.

"Kira, it's alright. You're among friends," said a man's kindly voice.

"Do you remember anything?" asked a woman in the white coat of a doctor.

"Nothing," she said blankly.

With a reassuring smile the strange man explained that she was called Kira and that she had been a visitor and that now it was time to go home.

* * *

In the Gateroom, Carter was explaining to Nodal and Leyal about Kira and Linnea and the only way she could go back with them. Leyal was impressed that Kira had volunteered to take the small amount of enhanced D'Argol that she had helped Carter to create in the lab. Once it had been reintroduced into her bloodstream her memory was gone again.

Jack was standing in the background with Teal'c and General Hammond listening to the conversation. The only thing that really mattered to him was that she was leaving. Whatever had been, or might have been, between her and Daniel was no more. The situation between Daniel and him was still as confused and unsettled as ever but at least it was back to being between just the two of them.

Daniel brought Kira into the Gateroom accompanied by Doc Fraiser and he began carefully introducing everyone. "Kira, these are friends of mine. Jack, Teal'c, General Hammond, Sam...and," indicating Nodal and Leyal, he continued, "these are friends of yours. They've come to take you home."

Kira looked closely at Nodal and Leyal and asked them if they knew her.

"We do, Kira. We understand you have lost your memory. Know that you are a great leader of our people and you are most welcome," Nodal said. He and Leyal turned and headed up the ramp towards the open Stargate.

Kira made as if to join them but hesitated and turned to Daniel instead. "I sense we knew each other well, before my memory was lost. Did we?"

"No. No, we never really did. Goodbye Kira," he said gently but firmly and Jack heard those words with relief.

"Goodbye," Kira said with a slight frown and she walked up the ramp, taking Nodal's proffered hand. Just before she stepped into the event horizon, she turned and smiled at Daniel, before finally disappearing.

Daniel stood at the base of the ramp watching the swirling blue of the open wormhole as Jack stood patiently waiting for him after the others had left. After the wormhole finally closed he turned and seemed surprised to find Jack still there.

"Ah, Jack."

"I wanted to make sure you were ...okay."

"You mean now she's actually gone," he said waspishly.

_Crap, it's gonna be like that is it?_ "Sure, if that's what you want to believe."

Daniel had the grace to look a little shamefaced. "You never did trust her, did you? You would have shot her, wouldn't you?"

"To protect you? In a flash. As for trusting her? Not enough to risk you. She was still Linnea." He held up his hand to stop Daniel interrupting. "I know she didn't remember and I understand that she believed herself to be Kira and acted accordingly. _But_ , whatever made her Linnea was still inside her, whether it was some weird gene thing, or simply the memory of whatever made her who she was, it was still inside her somewhere. As was proved, Daniel."

Daniel had moved closer to Jack as he spoke until he was so close as to be almost in the other man's personal space and he spoke very quietly. "For me, Jack, always for _me_?"

Jack sucked in a breath, hearing what Daniel _wasn't_ saying. "Always," he breathed.

"We need to talk, Jack," Daniel said softly.

"It _is_ Friday," Jack said with his trademark grin.

Daniel walked away, lifted an arm to wave a goodbye and called, "We still on for hockey and beer tonight, Jack?"

* * *

Standing outside Jack's front door, Daniel hesitated to knock. He'd initiated this, finally taking his guilt into himself, accepting his failings, accepting his humanity. Now he was actually here, the nerves returned, with a vengeance. What if he was wrong, what if he saw more between himself and Jack than was actually there? Was it all just his imagining, his desire for a relationship? Then he recalled Jack's words to him after Kira had finally left, or rather not his words but the hidden meaning that Jack couldn't say. Just as he, himself, had never said the words either. Till now.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked and, as if Jack had been waiting on the other side of the door, it opened.

"Finally decided to come in then?" Jack grinned.

"You knew I was there and you didn't open the door?" Daniel said as he slipped inside.

"Oh no, doesn't pay to interrupt your thought processes. Learned that long ago."

"But you're always interrupting me!"

"Only when it doesn't matter," Jack replied.

It was true; of course, when he was bored Jack would invade Daniel's office and stop his work on a whim but never when it really mattered.

"I kinda had the idea it was important, ya know," Jack continued, leading the way to his living room.

"Yeah, erm, bolstering up my courage."

"Would a drink help? Coffee, beer, a Jack Daniel's?"

Daniel grinned at Jack's unsubtle hint but shook his head. "Maybe later, thanks."

"'Kay," Jack said taking a seat opposite Daniel who'd settled on the sofa.

"I think it's time I...we ...stopped dancing round this, came out and said what ...what..."

"What we feel," Jack's soft voice finished for him.

Sighing with relief Daniel nodded. "I've been struggling with this for so long, wanting to say something but knowing I couldn't, I didn't have the right."

"I don't understand," Jack said with a puzzled frown.

"No, you wouldn't," Daniel said softly, dropping his eyes to study his hands lying in his lap. Without looking up he said, "Have you any idea how long I've been in love with you?"

When Jack didn't answer Daniel slowly raised his eyes, for once not knowing what his friend was thinking. He found Jack gazing at him. "I wanted to see your eyes," Jack said with a smile, "and if that wasn't a rhetorical question, I think I would have to answer, no."

Holding Jack's eyes Daniel continued, "I was attracted to you from the first time I saw you. I desired you when you left Abydos that first time and by the time that tissue box came flying through the Gate I knew I was in love with you. I was so excited at the prospect of seeing you again. Along with those feelings, unfortunately, came the guilt."

"Because you loved Sha're," said Jack, for once the one to drop his eyes.

"Because I should have loved Sha're the way I loved you but I didn't. I did care for her, very much but I was never _in_ love with her."

Jack's jaw dropped. "You didn't ...but... you were in love with _me_ on Abydos! I never had any idea, I thought... I assumed it grew with time and experience, as ..." he stopped, belatedly realising that Daniel needed to explain himself first. "So you already carried a measure of guilt even before she was ...taken."

"Yes and I was with _you_ when they came."

"And being the man you are you blamed yourself ...and perhaps me?"

"You? It wasn't your fault."

"No, anymore than it was yours but if you're gonna bare your soul, don't hold anything back. You blamed me too, didn't you?"

With a shock Daniel realised it was true, though not perhaps for the reason Jack assumed. "Yes, I see now that I did. In some twisted way I blamed you for making me fall for you. If I hadn't already had feelings for you, perhaps I could have fallen in love with Sha're, perhaps I could've been a better husband. Perhaps I wouldn't have spent so much time studying in the Cartouche Room. How twisted is that? God no wonder I felt so guilty; I never took responsibility for my own actions, my own feelings. What kind of man am I?"

"A man like any other who can't help who they fall in love with. Daniel, are you telling me you regret that you love me, because I'll never regret the way I feel for you."

"No, god, no, no, never. I _love_ you, Jack. I'm sorry I've been so... I just had to come to terms with my own ...failings."

"Oh, Danny, Danny. Why are you always so hard on yourself? Don't you think I've been carrying my own load of guilt? Unfortunately, it often goes hand in hand with being human. I fell in love with you when we were searching for your wife, the woman I believed you were desperately in love with."

Daniel ducked his head for a second before meeting Jack's eyes. "When did you know?"

"That I loved you? Looking back I think I had feelings for you from the beginning too but I was too messed up to understand. The first inkling would have to be when we thought Nem had killed you and I'd have dragged you back from Heliopolis if you hadn't agreed to come with me." Daniel frowned at that comment but kept silent. Jack acknowledged the frown with a shrug and continued, "But if you want to know the moment I finally acknowledged it to myself, the moment I actually understood what I was feeling, it had to be after I had to leave you on Klorel's ship.

"I hated leaving you, it felt as if my chest had been ripped open too but I ...it wasn't until I was actually on the shuttle heading back home after our rescue that I had time to think, to feel and that's when it hit me. The pain, the realisation of what I'd lost. I was angry at myself for being so damned blind and wasting any possibility I had to even know if there was a chance."

"I couldn't have coped with it then, not my feelings and not yours," Daniel said softly. "It's better this way, we're both free now and we know how we feel."

"I want to feel you," Jack said softly moving over to sit next to Daniel on the sofa.

"What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?" Daniel smiled as he leaned over to meet Jack.

Their lips met, tentatively at first but the contact sparked between them and they grabbed at each other, each pulling the other closer, wrapping arms around and holding tight. Mouths opened to finally touch and taste each other's tongues before separating, gasping with emotion. They'd opened the floodgates and hands skimmed over bodies quickly before reaching to remove clothing and finally feel the touch of skin on skin.

"Oh god, Jack, I've longed to touch your skin. It's tempted me for longer than I can admit. I watched as you casually walked past in the showers without you realising what you did to me."

"Me? I'm nothing special, just an old scarred soldier. But you, look at you, you're beautiful." Jack had seen Daniel naked before of course but never like this, close up and his to touch. _His. God, it had finally happened._ It didn't seem real; it had been a dream of his for so long. But look, this was his hand and he was touching Daniel's chest, running his hands up to caress his nipples, making them stand proud. God, he'd moaned, Daniel moaned because Jack was touching him. "Oh, god, Danny, I love you!"

Daniel arched his back as Jack's touch sent sparks shooting along his nerves and straight to his groin. The feel of Jack's tongue as it laved his nipples was intoxicating and he wanted more. His hands were on Jack's back and he moved one up into Jack's hair feeling the silky strands run through his fingers. He hadn't expected the silver strands to be so soft. The other hand he danced up and down Jack's spine till it finally settled on his waist where he caressed circles lower and lower until he reached his goal.

"Love you, Jack, love you," he murmured over and over.

Jack moaned at the sensations Daniel was creating in him as he pushed the younger back to lay on the cushions. Jack rocked against Daniel lying below him and the younger man lifted his hips in response. As Daniel gently probed his cleft Jack nibbled and worried at his shoulder while his hand slipped between their bodies and reached for Daniel's cock which had been jabbing into his stomach. He gently swirled his fingers around it drawing it into his firm grip and smiled at the gasp elicited from the younger man as he brought it into contact with his own cock, drawing them both together in his hand. He pulled and twisted, caressing them together as they both continued to rock against each other in rhythm.

"Mine, at last, Danny, you're mine."

"Yes, yes, always."

His own orgasm was gathering and if Daniel's squirming and moans were any indication, so was his. This was just too intense after denying themselves for so long.

"Gonna come...Danny, oh god, it's..." Jack pulled and twisted one last time.

"Yes, yes, oh Jack, Jack, can't ...ohohoh...god!"

They both came together as Jack worked their cocks in tandem with the rocking of their bodies and collapsing on top of a gasping Daniel, he listened as the younger man muttered beneath him.

"What, Danny?" he asked when he had enough breath to speak.

"Wanted it to be better ...our first time but I couldn't... not any longer. Sorry."

"Sorry? Danny, that was perfect. You and I together as we should be. The timing was perfect. Don't expect that'll happen often," Jack said with a smile.

Daniel grinned, "No, suppose you're right. I just wanted more you know, wanted to feel you inside me, me inside you, everything."

"We've got time for everything, now, Danny. We finally got the timing right."

FIN


End file.
